A series of events, including the ever-worsening situation at my household in terms of domestic abuse, my own deteriorating mental health, lack of job prospects and feeling simply silenced and marginalized in my own environment in terms of personal expression have pushed me to a radical move (and it is radical given that as an autist changing environments can be almost lethal to my psyche).
Along with my dear friends' help (for which I am eternally thankful for, both in regards to funds and housing and all the in-between), I have moved in a rush to Netherlands.
It is pretty far from Poland, and I am aware of the existence of Germany, but in NL I actually already have a friend network I could reach out to in case something happened to me, and I could get help much easier than back in Poland.
And most importantly, I would no longer have to fear my abuser.
Despite the fact that PTSD is constantly kicking my ass and I still fear a knock on the door, a doorbell or someone approaching me (because in early days I was getting spammed with calls from my relatives and I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to stalk me all the way to this place) - I am slowly adjusting here.
Mind you though, this didn't go without a few shocks, being so used to life in Poland, I certainly had to learn a few things (besides the language).
What sticks out the most to me is first and foremost the prices - but that should be expected. Everything is more expensive compared to Poland, and this makes me actually glad we didn't adopt Euros. But it comes with an advantage of easier trading between other European friends and less hoops to jump through in terms of commissions. Yay for a new currency!
Everyone seems nice to me here - maybe it's because I am easy to clock as a foreigner or they read me as a tourist, but even with the fact I went pretty much non-verbal due to internal issues, civil servants were still understanding of my situation. I am still reminding myself of that kind worker registering my residence when she hoped I succeed here...
The public transit... something I hated in Poland because of my remote location and general underfunding, is actually pretty convenient here. No more figuring out apps and tickets, just grab an OV-Chipkaart, load it up and go. One of the things that are really useful. I actually started taking trains and trams around just for fun when my funds allow me to. Somehow travelling is fun again...
What I cannot get used to though is meal times. Typically in Poland (or at least when you're a schoolkid) you'd come back to dinner at around 14:00. But here these people eat dinner at 19:00, when you're supposed to have a somewhat lighter meal. IDK, it still wiggles in my brain as someone who loves cooking dishes.
Speaking of the cuisine - the real deal is what the refugees and immigrants bring to the table. Typically Dutch foods like stamppot (i'm sorry) are simply unappealing to me and I would need to be cooked out of my mind to eat this. I'm sorry.
People I live with as of writing this are some of the kindest people I've ever met. For the first time I feel somewhat wanted, I got something my own relatives were unable to give me. I am glad to be here and be able to contribute to the household too. My friend, who's now also my roommate has a pretty, orange cat.
I couldn't take my kitty to Netherlands... so I'm happy to have a cat in my life again. I do my best to feed and pet this beast, it kind of gives me a purpose to live. I should post pictures of him sometimes.
I guess that summarizes it for now. Between this and that, Netherlands is a decent place, if you're moving from an Eastern European pithole. I'm more of a city dweller so I absolutely love what Utrecht and other cities have to offer, but there's plenty of countryside areas too that are just as appealing.
And I guess it does plenty of good for my mental health too. Poland has failed me way too much and I really didn't feel safe there, despite being born and raised in that country. Both in people and the system, I can't see myself going back there except for holidays.
But it's nice to be a hybrid between the two nations, make them blend and mix to create something new.